Lyin' by the river just like he usually done, oh no!
Call for his whiskey and he can call for his tea
Call all he want to, but he can't call for me, oh no!
Oh no! Well, I've been there before
And I ain't gonna come around here any more
Creepy alligator coming all around the bend
Shoutin' about the times when we was mutual friends
I checked my memory and I, I checked it quick, yes, I will
I checked it runnin' some old kind of trick, oh no!
Oh no! Well, I've been there before
And I ain't gonna come around here any more
No, I can't
Riding down the river in an old canoe
A bunch of bugs and an old tennis shoe
Out of the river all ugly and green
Came the biggest old alligator that I've ever seen
Teeth big and pointy and his eyes were buggin' out
Contracted the union, for the papers to route
Screamin' and yellin', he was pickin' his chops
He never runs he just stumbles and hops
Just out of prison on six dollars bail
Mumblin' bitches and waggin' his tail
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